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God how i miss u. im so sad baby this walk alone in life has been hell i have lived hell u know i have 4 u know my past, this walk with out u by my side, is the hardest thing ive ever faced. it is hard to wake up in the middle of the night and not b able to hear u snoring next to me or to roll over and tell u i love u while u sleep. it is so hard, to go to sleep with out u by my side. i hear ur voice and i hear u ing me and then i remember, i couldnt be 4 ur not with me anymore, i go place to buy things or buy groceries and i see places we were or ate and i sit there and say we were just hear, and i can c us like it was yesterday, i pray 4 God to send u back 2 me but i know that will not happend. if u onlyknew how much i have sufferd if u only knew the things i have indured, and the pain i have gone threw. i have slept on the floor, in a car , in a park with tyson, on friends couches, and in a garage with no water no heat no air no nuting, ive had to stay with people who clearly didnt want me around or there and i had no chioce but to eat it and swallow tha tpill and deal with it because u didnt want me. u took ur love away and its been the hardest thing to learn to live with out it. i have no money no where to live, no where to wash my body or my clothes no where to home. if u could messure all my pain all my suffering all my anguish and miseryif it could be wieghed or placed on a scale it would SURELY OUTWIEGH THE SANDS OF THE SEA. what i had feard the most has happend 2 me ,4 what i dreaded the most has happend 2 mei HAVE NO PEACE, NO QUITNESS, I HAVE NO REST, I JUST HAVE TERMOIL, AND ANGUISH. i pray to God and i dnt hate him or shun him 4 why has God forsaken me? why did he tear my world dwn why did he take my heart away? the answer is i dnt know. all i can do is have faith, and just like all the bad things i have gone threw in my life. i know and trust all this is 4 a reason. i know 1 day all this will b a memorie, i will look back and thnak u 4 leaving. but 4 right now im this moment at this very secound i cannot see the light. i am LOST WITH OUT YOU, i cant seem to find my way, i know i look 4 u in every camry i c, 2 see if i c u even if it was 4 a split secound. when i drive dwn our street my heart breaks 4 i know that is no longer my home. what else do i say i dnt know why i even right this but i know 1 thing 4 sure my thoughts my feelings, the things that come from my heart dnt deserve to go in the trash or to get ripped and flushed down the toilet. 4 i know its what u do with the things i write 2 you. i know u longer care, u told me. 9years i spent buy ur side, id gladly would have givin u my life if u only wanted it. i wanted to die and leave this earth loving u, and perhaps i will, i dnt know. i just ask God to heal my heart from all the pain u have caused me. and honestly i have no idea why i love u i have a million reasons to 4get you, and a thousand reasons why i should just say fuck u and move on but ONLY 1 REASON WHY I EVEN CARE the reason is as SIMPLE AS THE WORDS I LOVE YOU. my heart chose to give its love 2 u and now i dnt know how to stop. i gave u my life my heart and my days n nights, and u just throw me away like yesterday news paper. the best things in life r free i never understood that until i loved u, people go to the grave looking 4 what u dnt want or appreshiate, people go there whole life looking 4 it only 2 never find it. i hope and pray he loves u more then me and makes u happy, 4 i know whats in my heart and there was nothing i wouldnt have done 4 u, id lie steal cheat, kill if i had 2 to protect u and our family. i placed my life in ur hands and u choose to distroy it instead of takeing care of it. i dnt know how i still love u after it all the thiings u have done 2 me, but its the one thing i know about true love like it say in the BIBLE TRUE LOVE UNCONDITONAL LOVE FORGIVES IT ALL. so with that said I LOVE U ANA GUERRA U WERE MY LIFE, MY INSPIRATION, TE AMO
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