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Older undergrad student checkin' things out Personally, I hate writing about myself. It makes me feel like I'm in the first week of classes and a teacher has asked everybody for a "free write" regarding his or her major and hobbies. Anyway, this time my urge to be with a loving companion surpasses my urge to stay quiet. I will say that first and foremost, I don't smoke, or drink the booze, and I don't have an outstanding career. That should disqualify me from a great m best online dating site in Kent City, St James MD, Whitewater WI, New Albany MS, Fritch, Crompond NY any of you, I know, but I'm not here to waste anyone's time. I've become a practical kind of guy. With that said, I causally have somewhat of an odd life. I love to socialize, go out places, live, etc., but in the end, on many days I end up alone because I'm not sippin' on brewskies with the neighbors or going out all over town having classy dinners. And let me get something straight, by the way: I am not here because I want someone to keep me from being lonely. I'm not a hugely lonely guy even if I am alone a good amount. And if I was, a trip to the grocier's or bookstore is an easy way for me to run my mouth to someone and crack the shell a bit. I think it is right to desire love, though. Everybody deserves love. Here I sound very much like a hippy, but I think it's true. So to whom I have earned attention, perhaps we could have dinner sometime. And lastly, I hate to sound narcissistic here, but please be attractive, as in you are at least cute and am not by any means over weight. By any means.
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Another woman wanted to learn from my clarity and communication style and co-host events together (she is a dating coach and is married). After it became clear that the strongest energy in me around her was sexual but she only wanted to be sexual with her husband and I in a threesome I withdrew. I don’t have the space in this moment for a threesome and generally prefer deeper interactions one on one. I’m spending a lot of time with two close platonic friends right now and would enjoy a deep and ongoing monogamous relationship, although I think wistfully of some of my former lovers who really turn me on sexually and would be open to a lighter relationship if I was. I say no to a lot of people because integrity is so important to me and not a lot of people are comfortable with being totally transparent (it takes a lot of time and vulnerability) and have the kind of integrity that I want to go deep with. I sometimes have mixed feelings about this. There was an alcoholic who was incredibly sensitive when sober and an amazing lover who lives just down the street from me. I felt her alcohol threatened her life so I gave her an ultimatum: go to AA and be my lover or disengage. I’m sad she has picked alcohol over me but that’s nothing new. I’ve learned with some sadness that most people pick their drugs over love, be those drugs of rage, revenge, adrenaline or cocaine. I do too sometimes. It’s one of the challenges I set myself: Create relationships that are so beautiful that they are worth giving up the drugs they replace. I can be stubborn, particular and demanding, yet don’t enjoy myself as much in these states as when I feel my endless waves of patience, my desire to nurture and care, and see through the eyes that see only beauty. The more authentiy gentle and respectful someone is, the more loving and attentive, the easier it is to switch gears from defending myself from one more bull shitter who wants a solid gold relationship for the price of a few copper pennies in time, money and attention. I do believe that we get what we pay for in our lives – particularly in relationship. I’m looking for someone who is as high maintenance as I am but who is well worth all the maintenance and who shares my enjoyment in the daily upkeep. I find this type of person more frequently over fifty years old so I often connect with people in that age-range, although I am 35. Do you like the idea of doing joint therapy for the fun of it as an opportunity to grow the relationship proactively? Are you interested in energy work and becoming conscious of the messages we are always sending that create chemistry in each moment? Do you enjoy coaching your partner on how to love you perfectly and know what you want? These are all turn ons for me. They are hardly necessary if you are drawn more to the adventure of spending some timeless hours together on a one-off, but are great ways to grow a longer term relationship. I love sex – particularly sex that is an exploration into altered state (without substances) – and in shorter or part-time relationships that can be a basis around which to form a connection. There are some people I can enter this world with who I have little in common with on a mental level. The love is no less real (the thing I “love” is all about the intent to create honest, conscious and mutual well-being in whatever way works). I’m most interested, however, in a deep friendship that whether monogamous or open, is about growth, win/win and has the spacious time to evolve in a way that is optimal over time. Tell me about your passions! What makes your heart sing? What are your deepest pains in a world that consists mostly of rhythms and systems that promote the opposite of this way of life? How do you like to be loved and what would make our time valuable. I can’t say that I am a good fit for you, but I would love to listen and see if there is some area we consciously overlap and is actionable right now. I’m in one of my “make a lot of money in a month” phases that will be over sometime in January. I may go to Thailand then but if I connect with someone who can’t go I may not or I may invite them with me). But even at my most busiest I have time for open-ended weekend visits. I have time from 6pm-2am on many nights. I have time on my jobsite (I took a three hour walk with a friend today on Mt. Tam). And I have time for soft morning s of appreciation on a spontaneous basis. If you feel drawn tell me what you are available for as an initial experience, include a photo and a good time for a relaxed conversation by to determine where/how to meet. My general style is to “act as if” and talk about how it fits on all levels. I won’t try and impress you, will let you know if as I learn about you I see areas we will likely not connect, and look for ways to spend fun and relaxed time that is nurturing to us both. Given that I’m unusually busy with work and have my platonic activities covered I’m most interested in building a relationship revolving around romance, creative sensuality and delicious sex that can grow into other areas where we fit. I like to talk about our sexual preferences, boundaries and health issues up front, as well as what our expectations are around time and exclusivity, but am fairly fast to both platonic cuddling and sex if there is a good fit. I’m always listening to the feelings and energy in the space and want to embody it when I do feel it. Some people are more like cats and some are more like dogs. I’m both, but tend to connect best women who have more dog than cat energy. Dogs love being adored all the time, while cats are more coy and do things on their own terms. Thanks for reading all of this. In my world a can last a half an hour or six hours and an e-mail can become a book. That’s who I enjoy being right now so I wanted to reflect that interest in details and time-consuming dialogue here. This kind of relating is so uncommon, and consequently uncomfortable or impractical, that most of my relationships stem from in-person meetings with other uncommon people. I have had two s list relationships in all my years or posting here that was incredibly rich for us both – and that’s priceless. I’ve also had some interesting conversations and nurturing dates. I say this simply because some people assume that I get a lot of responses here and I don’t. It is an unusual woman that wants and is willing to create a conscious, intense and honest relationship that does not fit easily into a traditional box. Those few that do delight me. [smile] Warmly, Dane
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