by Amanda Hawthorn
Rating: PG-13/ maybe R when finished
Pairing: Grissom/Sara Romance Nick/Sara/Warrick friendship Cath/Sara/Lindsey friendship
Category: Angst/eventual Romance
Spoilers: Lady Heathers Box, Crash and Burn, and could be an alternative Play with Fire
Archive: Sara and Grissom and my site http://www.pink-martini.net/amanda/
Disclaimer: CSI belongs to CBS and Alliance-Atlantis Productions. No infringement intended.
Feedback: Love it, but no flames please I'm fragile!!
Author's Note: This is for my huge online family at the Grissom and Sara Yahoo group. Your support and encouragement means the world to me, as do you all. As always for Niff, Phon, Geena, Rosa and Shroedy, my wonderful friends. Also for Dutchie, who never fails to leave her words of encouragement in every review. Thank you...
Summary: When tragedy strikes in the lab, Sara's maternal instincts leap into motion.
© Amanda Hawthorn August 2003
Catherine leaned forward in her chair to cover Grissom's shoulder with her hand. She subconsciously held her breath as she felt her heart racing inside her chest.
"Miss Sidle is a very lucky young woman," the doctor told them carefully before he continued, "another hour and we would have been too late."
Grissom watched the man before him intently as he hung on to every word. Taking a deep breath, he shifted a little in his seat before he let out a strangled cry from somewhere from deep inside the confines of his chest. "How is she? Is she going to be alright?"
"She's strong," the doctor nodded slowly, his voice lowering as he stepped a little closer to them. "We found shards of glass inside her wound which lacerated a vein. Thankfully it wasn't the major artery, so we were lucky. We managed to repair the damage but due to the amount of blood she's lost, we had to replenish her system with extra blood and fluids before her body went into hemorrhagic shock." He regarded them carefully, before he continued, his voice soft and compassionate, "She will be in a lot of pain when she eventually regains consciousness, so we have had to administer some strong medication to keep her rested for a while longer. Don't expect too much from her for at least 24 hours."
"Can we see her?" Grissom asked quickly, his need to see her for himself outweighing anything he had ever felt before.
"Yes, someone will come down and take you to her in just a few minutes."
"Thank you," Grissom gasped in relief, his smile lighting up his whole face as he sank back into his chair.
"You're welcome," the doctor smiled as he took a step back, then turned to leave them alone with their private heartache.
"Oh god," Grissom let out the breath he was holding as he slumped backwards. Relief flooded his eyes which he tried desperately to keep at bay but his emotions once again refused to be silenced.
"Hey," Catherine soothed, lifting a hand to rub his shoulder "she's alright Gil," she told him through her own tears. "Sara's come back to us."
"I know," he whispered through tears, his happiness causing him to choke back the sob that started to rise up inside his chest. Closing his eyes, he let the salty droplets slip from under his lids to wash away the anguish, leaving him with a feeling he hadn't felt inside his heart for a very long time.
Beside him, Catherine laid her head against his shoulder, drawing on his newfound sense of peace. Her own feelings ran rampant inside her heart, alerting her to the sadness that had yet to leave her. Could it have been only weeks ago that Eddie had been taken from the realm of the living to leave her with a gaping hole that left her torn inside? Part of her had still loved him. After all, he was the father of her child; that was something no one could ever replace. Thinking back Sara's face came into her mind to haunt her memories once again. She had been so cruel with her words, causing Sara to think that she was incapable of doing her job. Had her campaign of mistrust caused Sara to protect Lindsey? Would she have really given her life to in some way earn back the trust she thought she had lost?
Her thoughts left her mind as a nurse came over and paused in front of them. "Are you Miss Sidles family?"
"Yes," Grissom said quickly, standing shakily to his feet as he spoke. His eagerness to see her reached through to his eyes, hiding the sheen of tears that never left his eyes.
"You can see her now," she smiled kindly. "If you would both like to follow me."
Wordlessly, Grissom and Catherine nodded their acceptance, both of them needing to see Sara for altogether entirely different reasons.
"Is she alright?" Grissom asked softly, his voice shaking slightly under the strain of his heart.
"She's a tough one," the nurse smiled, "she's very sick right now, but yes, I think in time, she will be fine."
They came to a stop outside a closed door where the nurse moved to turn the round handle, "I have to warn you though," she said quietly before opening the door "she's hooked up to a heart monitor and she's being given fluids intravenously, so she may look a little different to what you're used to."
Opening the door, she stood back to let them enter while she remained standing in the doorway, quietly watching. She had seen this kind of situation so many times before, she was prepared for the victims loved ones to suddenly buckle beneath the pressure.
Grissom drew in a ragged breath when he saw Sara's prone body hooked up to various different tubes. She looked so pale that he hardly recognized her at all. Stepping closer, he felt the tears once again sting his eyes as he lifted a shaky hand to touch her bare arm. Closing his eyes slowly, he stroked her warm skin, the touch sending tremors of relief through his veins.
"Sara," he whispered brokenly, taking another step until he was pressed beside the side of her bed. "Oh Sara."
Catherine turned slightly to nod towards the nurse who offered her a watery smile. "I'll be outside if you need me," she whispered softly before taking a step away, leaving the emotional scene surrounding her.
Catherine watched Grissom with a mixture of love and sadness. Sara had protected her daughter at all costs, paying the ultimate price for her struggle to help. Stepping closer towards Grissom, she inhaled deeply before reaching down a hand to touch Sara's fingers "Lindsey's safe Sara," she sniffed, "you took care of her for me and I will never forget it."
Sara remained silent. The only indication of life being the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest and the shrill beeping of the heart monitor. Grissom pulled up the chair beside the bed to sink down into it, his fingers trailing over her soft skin. Without hesitation, he slipped his hand over hers to entwine their fingers, willing her to know he was here beside her.
"Gil," Catherine whispered hoarsely, "I know you have some things you want to say to her right now, so if you want me to leave I'll understand."
"I think you know all the things I'm feeling," he whispered, his voice breaking as he spoke. "I used to be able to hide my feelings so well, maybe too well."
"She knows how you feel about her Gil," Catherine told him reassuringly as she moved closer to place a hand on his shoulder.
"How does she know?" he choked, "I convinced her and myself that I didn't need her. But look at me now," he shuddered sadly, his heart breaking as he spoke. "I think I've demonstrated just how lost I am without her."
"Oh Gil," she whispered as she squeezed his arm gently, "Sara loves you."
Her words sank into his heart, causing an ache so deep he had to fight to control his shattered emotions. He knew that he and Sara had shared something that kept them linked together. Sometimes her presence became all too painful for him to withstand, and other times he needed her so much that he could barely breathe. Now was one of those times when she commanded his attention by doing nothing at all, drawing him in closer. Sometimes she scared him half to death with the depth of his feelings for her, other times she filled him with intense joy that filtered through to his heart and soul.
He felt Catherine's hand tighten on his arm, her touch offering him the reassurance he needed, until she withdrew her warmth and slowly retreated from the room. He felt her distance and was somewhat relieved to be able to unleash the pain that had begun to burn a hole inside his heart. Slumping forward, Grissom moved his head down slowly to lay against Sara's hand, his fingers still entwined in hers. This was all the comfort he needed right now, to be here, with her.
Catherine moved over to one of the plastic seats that she had only just left a short time ago. Guilt reigned tightly over her heart as she tried to banish the image of Sara's broken body from her mind, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't.
With shaking hands, she rubbed her fingers over her tired eyes. Maybe this was a nightmare she mused. Maybe she would wake up any second and remember none of this, but as the minutes ticked by she knew this was no dream. She shifted back into her chair to lay her head against the wall, her eyes closing against the well of tears that threatened to flood her eyes. How did this happen? When had her simple life become so difficult? Reaching down into her purse, she pulled it up onto her lap. Delving inside, she searched around for the tissues that she always kept when she was out with Lindsey.
The sudden ringing of her cell phone almost caused her heart to stop and she chided herself for being so weak. Pulling it out of her purse, she pressed it to her ear expecting to hear Cavallo demanding answers. "Willows."
"I saw you on the news," a man's voice spoke, a voice she didn't recognize.
"Who is this?"
"I see you received my gift," he chucked "too bad you weren't in the building at the time. No matter, next time."
"Next time?" she gasped, "Who are you, you sick bastard?" she seethed while her heart was beating wildly inside her chest.
"Have to go," he told her "see ya."
Catherine stared at the silent phone in her hand trying to comprehend what in the hell had just happened. Closing her eyes briefly, she opened them again to punch in some familiar numbers then pressed the phone to her ear.
"Jim," she whispered shakily, her bottom lip trembling as she tried to speak, "can you meet me at the hospital. I need your help."
Previous |Story Index | Next