by Amanda Hawthorn
Spoilers: Set loosely in season 4.
Feedback: Love it, but no flames please I'm fragile!!
Archive: Grissom and Sara [dot] com and my site 'Something to talk about'
Disclaimer: CSI belongs to CBS and Alliance-Atlantis Productions. No infringement intended.
Author's Note: As always thank you to everyone for your constant support. It is very much appreciated. Special thanks go to Marlou for beta-ing this for me, and for being part of my wonderful circle of friends.
Thanks to Lauren Palmer for her constructive criticism.
This is also for Laura Katharine, who not only is a great author, but also has been constant in her support and total confidence in me. You all have her to thanks for this!! I was ready to delete it but was threatened with things unmentionable if I did!!
Summary: A tiny bundle discovered on Christmas Eve morning, turns Sara's life upside down.
The early morning air swirled around Sara Sidle as she stepped out of the lab after another long exhausting shift. Tomorrow was Christmas day, and she had opted to work, again. Nick was visiting his family. Catherine was spending time with Lindsey leaving herself, Grissom and Warrick to cover the next few days.
Lifting her head into the breeze, she relished the coldness surrounding her. Another long night would follow the previous one, on and on until she would be able to bury the aching heaviness in her heart. Christmas only showed her the things that she lacked in her life. Here she was, in her thirties, alone. The holidays meant family and being with the people you loved, she had very little, her relationship with her parents strained at the best of times. The only man she had ever loved still avoided her like she had some terrible disease and she had all but resigned herself to the fact that she would always remain alone.
Behind her, the doors swung open and Grissom came almost colliding with her. Turning quickly, she gasped in a breath. Was that her heart she could hear beating so loudly? Or was it perhaps his?
"Sorry," she managed before her voice betrayed her emotions. She needed to be away from him and those piercing eyes. She had to keep up the pretense that she was really over him. "I... Bye."
"Sara," he called, his voice stopping her in her tracks. Turning briefly, she waited for him to continue, but his voice seemed to be lost on his tongue.
Sighing heavily, Sara nodded sadly and started to turn away knowing that this was just another failed attempt at communicating. Closing her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall, she started to walk away, her car offering her the shelter she needed, but something caught her attention. Moving closer towards one of the bushes, she heard the noise again.
"What's wrong?" Grissom asked worriedly, finding his voice as he came closer towards her.
"I heard some..." Sara's voice died on her lips when she saw the cause of the disturbance. She gasped in a shuddered breath when she found herself looking down into the smiling face of a baby, dressed in a blue romper suit and surrounded with a cerulean colored blanket. "Oh God."
"What?" he asked quickly, coming to stop beside her. "Oh..."
Sara's heart flipped when the little boy gazed up into her eyes, giggling excitedly. His legs kicked and his arms waved in the air, waiting for her to reach for him. Sara's initial reaction had been to pick up the bassinette and hand it, along with the baby to Grissom. She knew that her and kids didn't mix too well, and she didn't want to tempt fate by picking the child up and have it scream at her, but she couldn't seem to help being drawn to his eyes.
The baby gurgled up at her, his little legs kicking against his bassinette, silently pleading for her touch. Blinking away the emotion in her eyes, Sara felt her heart melting no matter how much she tried to ignore the maternal feelings creeping over her.
Bending down, she carefully ignored the baby's squeal of delight as she reached inside the blanket to search for anything that would give an indication as to why he was here. Finding nothing beneath him, she moved her hands up a little further only to have her thumb grabbed in a tiny fist with a vice like grip. Her eyes flew to the sparkling blue gems that shone back at her mischievously and found every other feeling she had ever known merge into one pure emotion.
Bending forward, Sara smiled into the baby's eyes and untangled her thumb from his tiny hands. Reaching beneath him, she lifted him carefully out of his blankets and into her arms, surprised at how heavy he was in her embrace. Lifting him carefully, she moved him gently until they had both become accustomed to each others touch.
"Sara..." Grissom said softly when he saw the tenderness in her movements. For a moment it shook his senses and filled his heart with so many feelings that he had to fight to breathe. Crouching down beside her, he gazed on in awe as she stroked the baby's face before bending down to plant a soft kiss into his hair.
"Hey," she whispered softly, the gentleness in her voice stunning Grissom as much as the vision before him. "What are you doing here?"
"We should get him inside," He told her, finding his voice. Without thinking, he ran a hand across her back to settle across her shoulders, his hands drinking in the warmth of her. Sara seemed to lean into his chest, his warmth enveloping her heart as she drew strength from the feelings that surrounded her. Glancing over her shoulder, Grissom looked down into the child's face and saw him gazing up into the eyes of the woman who held him. For the briefest of moments, he felt like an intruder, his presence piercing such a peaceful moment. As he looked on in wonder, he knew he was witnessing something that was both beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.
"We should go," Grissom told her worriedly, hooking an arm beneath her elbow to gently help her to stand with the precious bundle in her arms. He had witnessed how she would become attached with victims in the past, and seeing her now, gazing down at this child with absolute adoration, it scared him. "Sara," he urged.
She nodded silently, holding the baby closer to her. "Who could do this Grissom?" she asked, her voice breaking slightly as she spoke.
"Come on," he urged, reaching behind her to pick up the bassinette that contained the necessary clues to who this baby was and why he was here. "We'll get him inside and try to figure it out."
"Hey," Sara whispered softly to the little boy who snuggled into her chest. "What's your name huh? I bet your mom is missing you."
Grissom watched her as they walked the few steps towards the lab, his heart opening to the woman beside him. Such tenderness and he had failed to witness it before. Opening the door for her, he waited until she had entered inside before following her. With a gentle push, he guided her down the corridor that lead towards Brass's office.
"Grissom, this baby needs to see a doctor," she told him, stopping in the middle of the corridor before he could push her on any further. "You go and see Brass if you need to, but I'm taking him to see Doc Robbins."
"No. We don't know how long he's been out there in the cold weather. I won't let anything happen to him because we failed to get him checked over first." Staring into Grissom's eyes, she dared him to contradict her, her eyes flaring with defiance.
"Okay, I'll come with you. We'll find Warrick and give him the bassinette to process." Sighing heavily, Grissom made a move to walk beside her.
"I'm sorry," she told him quietly, lifting the baby higher into her shoulder.
"For what?" He asked, slightly confused until he caught a glimpse of worry in her eyes.
"I know you don't particularly like it when I disagree with you. I learned that hard lesson before, but I won't listen to your orders over this baby's health. Do what you want to me after we find his parents, but until then..." Her voice trailed off as the baby started to whimper in her arms. "Shh, honey it's okay," she whispered.
Grissom gulped as his mistakes came up to hit him full force, and once again he found his regrets outweighing the feelings within him. Trying to lighten the regrets he felt lingering around them, he nudged her shoulder as they walked. "He likes you."
"Well I'm sure he will until we find his family," she smiled, holding the tiny body closer to settle him. "This poor child was unfortunate enough to have me find him."
"Sara you are doing fine," he started, his voice failing him when she turned her tear filled eyes to him. She shook her head quickly, indicating that she didn't want to talk anymore.
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