Spoilers: YGM and very slight PNN
Archive: www.grissomandsara.com. Anyone else, ask permission and I'll probably say yes.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I do own the plotline you're about to read, but since we all know it'd never make it to the show... then I must not own the show. Damn!
Summary: G/S (some W/C & N/OC) - Grissom wakes up the morning after the team's crazy night of charades...
Chapter 53 - What are you afraid of, Sara?
Sara could only look at him, speechless, for a few seconds. "Here? Live with you?" She knew she sounded like an idiot, repeating what he had just said, but she was having trouble assimilating it. She hoped she hadn't just woken from a vivid dream about him asking her to live with him, and then said that out loud.
Grissom's mouth twitched. "Yes, here. With me." He took a breath and started his argument. "We spend almost all our time together anyway, and it just, well, it just seems easier to not have one of us carting an overnight bag around every day."
Sara opened her mouth to speak, but he rushed ahead. "I mean, I know that you probably don't like the idea, and I don't want you to think I'm giving you orders or anything, I just thought that maybe it'd be easier for you... but I'd understand if you didn't want to give up your apartment, or..."
Sara put her hand over his mouth. "Shut up and let me think." She tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. Living with Grissom... it wasn't an unpleasant idea, not at all, but Sara was afraid. That was what it came down to: fear. The what-ifs. What if she gave up her apartment, and then they stopped seeing each other? What if they started living together and discovered that they couldn't stand each other's habits? What if Grissom got tired of her? "I, um... I don't know, Gris. What if things don't work out? I mean, sharing a house is a huge commitment."
"I would never kick you out, Sara, if that's what you're afraid of. Even if we were to stop seeing each other outside of work," how was that for euphemism, he thought, "I wouldn't leave you homeless." She didn't look comforted. Was it just him who was this emotionally involved? Did she feel like he was pushing her for more than she could give? He struggled not to show his embarrassment as the thoughts flew through his mind. "Sara... you don't have to give me an answer. It was just a thought, I mean, a suggestion, but you have no obligation to even tell me yes or no."
"That's not it. Don't think I'm offended or anything, Gil. I'm just... thinking. I don't know what to tell you. I want to give it a try, but honestly, I'm just so scared." She shook her head. "I just don't know."
He laid a tentative hand on her arm. "What are you afraid of, Sara? You know I love you; I wouldn't ever hurt you. For heaven's sake, if we broke up, I'd be the one to move out if it made you feel better."
Removing her arm from his grasp, Sara sighed. "No, I wouldn't want that. And no, I actually didn't know that you love me. You never said it before. I just, I don't know, I wish life came with a rewind button so that if it didn't work out, we could go back to before I moved in."
"Life doesn't work like that, Sara, and you know it. Sometimes there's a risk to just living, and sometimes there a risk you need to be willing to take in order to move your life forward. I'm willing to take it, and I can't think of anything that would make me happier than having you be willing to take it with me." He wrapped his arms around her, trying to hide his desperation. "Please Sara, trust me. Try this. Don't give up your apartment yet if you don't want to; we can do a trial run. Then if it doesn't work, you can have your own home to go back to."
She stared at him. Why hadn't she thought of that? Such a simple solution to such a difficult problem. "Trial run... yeah.'" She nodded definitively. "Let's do that. Will you help me bring some of my stuff over here tomorrow?"
"Of course. Your wish is my command!" he said with an attempt at a dramatic bow.
Sara laughed and threw her arms around him. "What the hell would I be doing now if you weren't around to drag me out of me little hole in the wall, kicking and screaming, every now and then?"
"Probably enjoying your snug little hiding place," he responded.
"Well, yeah." She gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "And that's why I'm so glad you are around. Someone's got to talk me into taking the risks." She couldn't hide the yawn that split her face. "Hmm, tired... can I go back to sleep now?"
He laughed. "Sure. I knew my sneaky trick of waking you up to make you give me an answer would work," he said with a smirk.
"Mmmm," was all Sara said as she buried her head in the pillow. She curled back against him, sighing with pleasure at the comforting feel of having Grissom next to her.
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