by KmNO4
Rating: G
Category: Romance/Parody
Archive: Please ask first I might say yes.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to CBS and all inspiration to Joss Whedon.
Author's Note: Forgive me, for I know not what I do. Some of the arrangements have been simplified and adapted but of course, you can still try and sing along to the original soundtrack... if
that's your sort of thing!
Summary: Have you seen the episode of Buffy where everyone gets musical? Enough said.
Dazzling intro music floods the empty breakroom, as Grissom sits poised over a cup of cold coffee. He sighs heavily and rubs his forehead with despair.
Every single night, the same arrangement
I go out and solve a crime
Still I always feel this strange estrangement
Sick of all the dirt, Sick of all the grime
He rises and heads out into the corridor, walking towards his office with a wavering step.
I've been checking clothes with ultraglows
Just hoping no-one knows
That I've been going through the motions
Looking out for stains
When nothing of my heart... remains
He pauses for a moment in front of his tarantula's cage.
I was always brave and kind of righteous
Now I find I'm wavering
Office politics can wear you down
It's such a waste of time
Pretending to be fine
Janice the secretary enters and surveys Grissom with concern.
He does pretty well, but the job is hell
And lately I can tell
He's just going through the motions
Faking it somehow---
He's not happy now
She places a new stack of casefiles onto his desk and exits, he watches as Janice leaves.
Will I feel this way forever?
What's the point? Why endeavour?
Grissom sits down in his chair, with a heavy thud.
I don't want to be
Going through the motions
Looking out for stains.
I no longer see
If this is really me
When nothing of heart... remains.
Behind the glass windows, the team files in for the start of a new shift. As the music quells, Grissom goes out to join them.
"Have you heard about that murder?" Nick asks excitedly. "It was all over primetime! Do we get to cover it?"
CSI Stokes, fills the others in on all the background information, while Grissom searches through his papers.
"Is this it?" He asks. " The Lakewood slaying? It's ours."
Nick stands to address his colleagues.
I've got a theory
That it's a sicko
A total psycho
On the prowl
Catherine hastily interjects.
I've got a theory
Some guy is lonely
Looking for a way
To boost morale
Warrick responds.
I got a theory we should work this out
Find out what this creepy murder's all about
Sara nods in agreement.
It could be a doctor
A crazy surgeon
Just like that Lurie
Did I say Lurie?... I meant Marie Curie
Grissom looks at her with evident surprise.
I don't think so Sidle
Don't assume I'm so idle
I heard Lurie, not Curie--
Did you say that name?
Or am I just insane?
Nick decides to intercede.
I've got a theory we should work this fast
Before any trace of evidence has past
Grissom indicates that Nick should take a seat.
I've got a theory, it doesn't matter..
What can't we face if we're together?
What storm will come that we can't weather?
A murder case?
We've all been there.
The same old thing
Should we still care?
The others join him in lament.
What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll work it through within a minute.
We have to try
For those who die
Sara frowns and voices a solo.
I can't deny
That I might cry
She is quickly consoled by the rest of the team.
What can't we face if we're together?
What storm will come that we can't weather?
Everything will turn out fine
With just a little Nonoxinal nine
The track fades and they all head out to the carpark. Warrick, Catherine and Nick get into one Tahoe, while Grissom and Sara climb into the other.
A few miles on, Sara turns to look at her driver, smiling silently to herself.
I spent my time so lonely
Never a man to embrace
It didn't seem so bad though
I figured that was my place
Grissom clears his throat as if to say something, but instead, he freezes. Sara is illuminated by the sun shining in through the window.
She is bathed in light
But something still isn't right
I'm under love's spell
How else could it be
She would even see
A recluse like me
It's magic, it must be
Sara offers him a gap-toothed grin and is hurt, when Grissom quickly turns away.
You make my world enchanted
It's like I'm floating on air
I guess I took for granted
That you might actually care
But you've captured me
And I'm no longer free
I'm under love's spell
Nothing I can do
I just want to be with you
You worked your charms so well
And finally I knew
Everything I dreamt was true
Grissom pulls up outside of the scene, and watches as Sara abruptly jumps out, kit in hand.
It's pitiful, I know--
That I could need you so
I'm under love's spell
Sinking in this sea
Wanting you so helplessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
When you smile at me
Catherine arrives in a squeal of burnt rubber.
"Pleasant journey, Gil?" She teases as she hops swiftly out onto the pavement, and her companions soon follow.
Grissom studiously ignores her comment, and gives out his usual commands, "Sara and I will work the interior. Catherine and Warrick, you get the garage. Nicky, the backyard. Let's go."
Catherine laughs gently to herself, inspite of Warrick's warning eyebrow raise. Together they head over to the car port.
She opens the door to peer inside, catches Warrick's eye and smiles.
This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to whine and to bitch
Wished I was prettier and rich
But now I'm through with that
No more bitter, Cat
The only trouble is...
Catherine sighs and shakes her head.
What the hell
I won't tell
Warrick turns of his Maglite torch and works the interior of the vehicle.
She is the one
Such wonderful fun
I'll never let her go
The attraction we share
Can only grow
There's just one thing-- no
Warrick sighs and picks up a blue fiber.
What the hell
I won't tell
Their gazes simultaneously fall upon a red button, Catherine quickly snatches it up and Warrick rolls his eyes.
She has to be first
Always wants to be the best
Sometimes I get distracted
By the padding of her chest
Catherine bags the button and gives Warrick a triumphant grin.
He's always got his shirt off
The women they go wild
All he loves are his possessions
But I need a father for my child
He reaches for her hand a gives it a brief squeeze. Catherine flutters her eyelids.
You know you're quite the charmer
My knight in armor
Warrick winks.
You're the hottest woman I know
You shine brighter than ultraglow
They resume their search.
I'm at the end of my tether
I'm not sure of anything
What we have might last forever
Or it could just be a fling!
They share a lingering glance across the car.
What the hell
I won't tell
Inside the house, Grissom and Sara are wading through a sea of human remains. He watches her labeling the evidence.
I died so many years ago
But you can make me feel
Like it isn't so
Why do you want to be with me?
I really just don't know
Sara feels his eyes on her and slowly sighs.
You're scared
Ashamed of how you feel
You can't bear to tell me
You think I couldn't deal
A whispered speech in the evidence room
Doesn't make it real
Grissom hands her a pair of orange filter glasses.
I don't want to play
Being with her touches me
More than I can say
But it would be best
For her to stay away
And let me rest in peace
Their hands brush momentarily as they begin to scan the bed for evidence, Grissom recoils his quickly as if burnt.
Let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a whole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in peace!
Grissom bags the sheets and gives them to her. Sara nods and places them with a pile of items that need to be taken back to the lab.
He knows he's got a willing slave
Maybe he's just too afraid to misbehave
I don't want to bring him down
I won't spread lies all over town
Grissom and Sara head back out to the car, and he opens the door for her to climb in.
I know I should go
But I follow you like a woman possessed
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
The love I feel for you
Could break my chest
But you remain, so unimpressed
He gets into the car and begins to drive, noting her renewed silence.
Let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a whole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in peace!
In a seedy motel off the strip the Lakewood murderer subdues his latest victim.
You and me
We could be great
Don't fight me lady
That'll just prolong the wait
It won't hurt a bit
And if you promise not to scream
It won't be a nightmare
Just a pretty little dream
Nick walks into the breakroom and catches Sara wiping her eyes with some tissue.
"Is it the case?" He begins. "Because we're going to get this guy, I know we are."
She sighs and smiles bravely.
"It's not just the case, it's everything. But, you're right Nicky. We will get this guy."
Sara squeezes his shoulder on her way out, leaving Nick alone.
You've been beaten by the world outside
You keep pretending, but you just can't hide
I know that sometimes we don't agree
But you're just like a sister to me
He takes a cup out of the cupboard and pours some coffee
Wish I could say the right words
To take the pain away
Wish I could slay your demons
Brighten up your day
But, maybe I'm just standing in your way
Nick sighs and takes a seat.
I get the big breaks that you're waiting for
Grissom picked me and left you wanting more
That promotion wasn't just about a raise
We both needed that man's praise
He watches as Sara exits the layout room and heads towards the DNA lab.
Wish I could say the right words
To take the pain away
Wish I could slay your demons
Brighten up your day
But, maybe I'm just standing in your way
Greg greets Sara with a beaming grin as she enters his lair.
"I need you to run a DNA analysis of this substance we found on the bed sheets, and I'll give you a clue... it's not blood," she teased.
"Some guy's little swimmers," he said nonplussed. "You got it girl."
One of Greg's experiments bursts in the background and they both instinctively shudder. The damage is minimal, but memories of a bigger and infinitely more dangerous explosion have resurfaced in
their minds.
Sara leaves Greg to clean up the tiny shards of shattered glass, and steps out into the corridor. Cue soulful backing music.
I touch the fire
And it freezes me
I look into and it's black
Why can't I feel?
My skin should crack and peel
I want the fire back
She pauses outside of Grissom's office and watches him working.
So he thinks he's too old for me
Why can't he see that I don't care?
I dream of how perfect our lives could be...
But will we ever get there?
Sara pushes the door open wide enough to allow her entry.
Well, I will walk through the fire
Where else can I turn?
I will walk through the fire
And let it burn
Grissom looks up and observes her approach.
The torch I bear is scorching me
She's hot to handle, there's no doubt
But what if it's all lies?
And what if our love dies?
Will we make it out?
He motions to Sara and she takes a seat.
But, I will walk through the fire
Where else can I turn?
I will walk through the fire
And let it burn
Grissom raises an eyebrow as Sara begins to document the advancement of the case.
"Honey," he interrupts, startling her. "I have to something to say to you..."
Nick takes this opportunity to burst into the office, guns blazing.
"We've got him! We've got that evil freak!" He shouts triumphantly. "Customers heard screams from a motel room, found him working on a new victim, and the creep had the wallet of the Lakewood girl in
his pant pocket."
Grissom smiles apologetically at Sara before both of them rise to follow Nick to the break room.
"Hey, Gil," Catherine began. "We sure got lucky!"
She and Warrick are already seated at the rectangular table; guitar chords strike up in the background and Catherine grins.
Life's a show
And we all play our parts
And when the music starts
We open up our hearts
Nick joins in the festivities.
It's all right if some things come out wrong
We'll sing a happy song
And you can sing along
Sara looks at Grissom and smiles.
Where there's life there's hope
Wishes can come true
Then he whispers softly in her ear.
I'd swear to the Pope
That there's no me without you
Warrick takes his cue.
Life's a song
You don't get to rehearse
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse
Nick repeats his little catchphrase.
It's all right if some things come out wrong
We'll sing a happy song
And you can sing along
The rest of the team members are so joyous that they don't bat an eyelid as Grissom and Sara slip outside to the carpark to voice their own personal duet.
Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this
It's living
We'll get along
We'll make it through
We'll start anew
Just by living
Sara abandons her car and climbs into Grissom's.
This murderous world we inhabit isn't real
And I just want to feel
Alive
He gets into the driver seat and fastens the belt.
She means more than this damn job to me
And now I'm finally free to be
Alive
On the last note they kiss passionately before heading to his townhouse to conclude the concert.
- The End -