Baby Gossip

Rating: G
Pairing: Grissom/Sara
Category: General/Humor
Spoilers: None
Archive: Please ask first I might say yes.
Disclaimer: Let's face it, if they were mine, Grissom and Sara would be married to each other by now.

Author's Note: Well here we are with the second sequel I never imagined I'd be writing. This takes place after "Busted", which is the immediate sequel to "Diamond Deceptions". It's considerably longer than the other two.

Summary: Nick overhears Grissom talking about a baby and rumors start flying.

---

Nick sauntered through the corridors of CSI, heading towards the locker room to grab his stuff and go home. Passing by Grissom's office, he heard his boss talking to someone.

Nick thought nothing of it until a particular sentence floated through the closed door and filtered into his ears.

"You know you shouldn't be lifting heavy stuff," Grissom lectured patiently to someone. "It's not good for you or the baby."

Nick stopped dead in his tracks.

A baby? Someone was having a baby? Who? Nick wondered to himself. He recalled seeing Sara enter Grissom's office five minutes ago, and she hadn't come out yet. Was Grissom talking to Sara?

"Oh my god," Nick said aloud to himself.

"What?"

Nick gasped and spun around, holding a hand to his chest. "Man! Don't sneak up on people like that!"

"Sorry," Warrick apologized with a not-sorry-at-all grin. "So what are you saying 'Oh my god' about?"

"Keep your voice down!" Nick hissed, glancing around furtively to see if anybody had heard them. He motioned Warrick to come closer, and spoke in a low voice to his friend. "Sara went into Grissom's office just a little while ago, and hasn't come out."

Warrick looked at Nick like he was crazy. "So what? She goes into his office all the time."

"Well, I clearly heard Grissom say something about how lifting stuff isn't good for the baby."

Warrick's eyes bugged out. "Baby?!" he exclaimed.

"Be quiet!" Nick admonished.

"Sorry! That's just a big shock! Sara's gonna have a baby? That's so cool!" Warrick was enthralled with the idea. "So what are we standing around for? We gotta tell Catherine. Come on."

The two CSIs ran off to spread the news to the gossip queen known as Catherine.

Meanwhile, inside Grissom's office, Sara waited patiently for her husband to finish his phone conversation.

With a warm goodbye conflicted by the scowl on his face, Grissom finally hung up the phone.

"How's your cousin?" Sara asked with a smile.

Grissom sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Stubborn as ever," he answered. "She hates it that Jason won't let her lift anything heavier than a book."

"Well, Emily is pregnant," Sara stated. "And moody. She probably feels like everybody's patronizing her. I know I wouldn't like it if people did that to me." She came around Grissom's desk and perched lightly on the arm of his chair.

With a mischievous grin, Grissom grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto his lap.

Sara gave a mild squeal at the sudden movement, but readily accepted it. Sitting sideways, she draped her legs over the arm of Grissom's chair, wrapped her arms around his neck, and leaned in for a kiss.

"Mmmm... thank you," Grissom mumbled against her lips.

Sara's eyes flew open. She pulled back and looked at Grissom. "Huh?"

Was he thanking her for the kiss? Sara knew her bugman was odd, but...

"Thank you," Grissom repeated.

"What for?" Sara asked, somewhat confused.

With a little smile and a shrug of his shoulder, Grissom replied, "For not being pregnant right now, too."

Sara smirked. "What's the matter, bugman? Couldn't handle two pregnant women in your life?"

"Not both at the same time," Grissom answered, matching her smirk with his own. He shook a finger at Sara with mock severity and said, "I forbid you to get pregnant until Emily's child is at least a month old."

Sara just laughed at him. "Hey, if it happens, it happens. And I'll blame half of it on you."

"You better not blame it on anyone else," Grissom warned playfully, tweaking her hair and stealing a kiss.

Kissing him back, Sara shifted on Grissom's lap to find a more comfortable position, until a muscle in her back sharply protested. She broke off the kiss with an "Ow!"

"What's the matter?"

She sat up and winced. "I think I pulled a muscle in my back."

Grissom's blue eyes looked at her in concern. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." Sara gingerly got up off Grissom's lap and tried stretching her arms and back. "Owie!" she whimpered like a child.

"Oh, honey... you need to see a doctor," Grissom insisted, standing to wrap his arms around her and gently rub her back.

Sara leaned into him, laughing embarrassedly against his chest. "God, I can just imagine THAT conversation. Question: 'How did you hurt yourself, Mrs. Grissom?' Answer: Oh, I just pulled a muscle while kissing my husband."

Grissom failed miserably at holding back his amusement. He muffled his snickering into Sara's hair. Finally, he calmed down, still rubbing his wife's back soothingly. "I'm sorry. It's my fault for pulling you into the chair with me."

"It IS your fault," Sara agreed. "If you weren't so much fun to kiss, I wouldn't have hurt myself."

Grissom chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Why don't we just blame Greg," he offered with a wink.

"Aww, poor Greggo. He's always getting accused of something," Sara answered. "I don't need to see a doctor. I just need a good back massage and I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

Sara nodded with a smile. "Yep. Maybe I'll con Archie into a massage. I hear he has magic fingers."

Grissom narrowed his eyes at her. "You do that, and I'll have to kill him."

Sara smiled mischievously and pulled his head down for another kiss.

"I'll hunt down all your other boyfriends, too," Grissom mumbled against her lips.

"Then I better tell David and Bobby to hide," Sara grinned. "Come on. Let's go home."

They left the building and headed home. After a foreplay-filled massage and some lovemaking, Sara and Grissom fell asleep, purely exhausted.

* * *

Throughout the processing of their crime scene the next day, Sara's back felt perfectly fine.

Until she bent down to close and lift her field kit.

"Oooh!" Sara gasped, promptly letting go of the silver case.

Grissom was instantly at her side. "What's the matter?"

Sara grimaced, not wanting to admit anything was wrong. "Nothing. Just a little pinch."

Grissom's eyes narrowed. "I knew you should have seen a doctor."

To anyone else, his tone would have sounded accusatory. But Sara knew it was only concern that clipped his voice.

"I'm fine, Grissom," Sara said, forcing her grimace to become a smile.

"No you're not, Sara," Grissom responded. Pursing his lips momentarily, he told her, "At the risk of sounding like my cousin's very patronizing husband, I don't think you should be lifting anything heavy if it's going to hurt like that."

"But-"

"No buts," Grissom said firmly. "I know I can't convince you to see a doctor, and I don't want you causing yourself any more damage." With that, he picked up Sara's field kit and placed it into the black Tahoe alongside his.

Sara bit her tongue against the retort that strained to be let out. Instead, she grabbed the keys from Grissom's hand and hopped into the driver's seat.

* * *

Back at the lab, Nick looked up when Sara breezed past the Ballistics lab where he was waiting for his ballistics test results.

Grissom followed close behind Sara, carrying two field kits.

Nick's eyes widened as he recalled the words he overheard Grissom spoke to someone yesterday about lifting things.

"Did you see that?" he questioned Bobby Dawson.

"See what?" the ballistics expert responded in a southern accent similar to Nick's.

"Grissom was carrying Sara's field kit."

"So?" Bobby replied densely, concentrating on the task at hand. "Is it illegal to carry someone's kit for them if their hands are full?"

Nick rolled his eyes. "Sara's hands were empty except for one very thin folder."

"So what's the big deal?" Bobby looked up, furrowing his eyebrow at Nick's worrying.

"The 'big deal' is that yesterday, I overheard Grissom talking to someone in his office. The door was closed, so I couldn't see who was in there. But Griss said, 'lifting heavy things isn't good for the baby', or something like that." Nick gave Bobby a pointed look. "And lo and behold, there goes Grissom carrying not only his field kit, but Sara's too."

Understanding dawned in Bobby's eyes. "No way! Sara's pregnant?"

"That's the only logical explanation," Nick determined. "I mean, who else could Grissom have been talking to?"

"Wow!" Bobby said, mostly to himself. "I gotta tell Jacqui. She'll flip her lid."

The first chance he got, Bobby told someone the news.

Gossip spread like a wildfire.

Within an hour, Bobby had told eleven people, who in turn told others, who passed it on to yet more people.

Catherine heard it from five different sources.

Warrick received affirmations from people he didn't even know.

The rumor flowed past Greg in the DNA lab, bounced on down to the coroner's rooms, and danced around Archie in the Audio/Visual lab.

* * *

Everywhere she went in the CSI building, Sara received odd looks from people.

Most of the other employees wore inquisitive expressions; a few had accusatory glances for her.

Unnerved by this, Sara took a detour into the bathroom to use the mirror.

Her clothes were fine. There was nothing on her face except for her makeup, and her hair was acceptable-looking in its stylishly messy bun.

"I must be slouching or something," Sara told her reflection. She still felt the occasional pinch in her back when she bent down or reached up, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.

Sara shrugged a shoulder to herself and exited the bathroom. Entering Grissom's office, she retrieved her empty field kit and headed into the supply room to re-stock it.

A pilfered jar of Red Creeper fingerprint powder went into the case, along with plenty of evidence bags and bindles.

The box of individual swabs had only two left.

Wrinkling her nose at someone leaving only two swabs in the box, Sara stepped onto a footstool and reached up to the top supply shelf.

"Agh!" Pain rocketed up her spine and across her shoulders, and Sara would have fallen off the stool if Grissom hadn't caught her so quickly from behind.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to do that," Grissom said disapprovingly, letting his wife go as soon as her feet were safely on the floor. He grabbed the box she had been after and set it on the table with a gentle thud. "You're in no condition to be bending and reaching," he added, ever mindful of her back injury.

A frustrated contradiction was on the tip of her tongue when Sara noticed Nick trying to appear inconspicuous in the doorway.

"Nicky, would you please tell Grissom that I'm not going to break?" Sara asked stiffly.

Nick gave her a neutral smile and wisely stayed silent.

"Sara, please," Grissom said with a soft, caring look for his wife. "Just humor me?"

Sara felt instant regret for the attitude she exhibited to her husband. "I'm sorry," she apologized quietly. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just feeling a little stressed right now."

Grissom didn't voice an answer. He simply reached out and cupped Sara's cheek, lovingly caressing her skin.

"Thank you for getting me the box." Sara offered him a smile.

Grissom returned the smile, dropping his hand slowly. "You're welcome." Halfway out the door, he stopped and turned around. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"Yep," Sara responded with no intention of actually following his directions.

Nick silently trailed behind Grissom, glancing back at Sara with a slight smirk on his face. He couldn't wait to tell Catherine and Warrick what he had witnessed.

* * *

"You SAW it?!" Catherine exclaimed incredulously.

"With my own two eyes," Nick replied, grinning profusely. "He told her, and I quote: 'You're in no condition to be bending and reaching.' Now if that's not a pregnancy lecture, I'll eat my hat."

Warrick gave him a funny look. "You're not wearing a hat, Nick."

Catherine rolled her eyes. "It's an expression, Warrick. He doesn't mean his literal hat."

"That's good," Warrick answered. "Because then I'd have to do the Heimlich maneuver when this cowboy here chokes on the wide brim."

"Funny, Brown." Nick narrowed his eyes.

Catherine stepped in between the two men before the fists could fly. "Guys, we have more important things to discuss than wounded egos. Sara's pregnant."

"Duh, Catherine," Warrick said in a where-did-your-brain-go tone. "I thought we already established that fact."

Catherine glared at Warrick, pursing her lips. "We need to keep an eye on her."

"Uh, why?" Nick asked, uncomprehendingly.

"Because, cowboy," Catherine answered. "Sara's a workaholic, and her work habits promote stress, and stress isn't good for the baby. Not to mention the fact that she isn't supposed to lift things."

"You want us to babysit Sara?" Nick was incredulous.

Catherine nodded.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?" Warrick wanted to know. "If she even gets the slightest idea that we're babying her, we'll be dead meat."

"I'm scared of Sara," Nick whined. "Cath, please don't make me babysit her!"

"You're a grown man, Nick," Catherine responded. "Stop whining."

Nick pouted instead.

"All right, we'll keep an eye on her," Warrick conceded. "But if she catches on and kills us all, I'm blaming you."

Catherine smiled widely.

* * *

"Did you tell anybody that I hurt my back?" Sara asked Grissom at the beginning of shift one night.

"No," Grissom answered, slightly furrowing his eyebrow. "Why?"

Sara perched on the edge of her husband's desk. "I've been getting weird looks all week. It's like every single person I see is either smirking or scowling at me. At first, I thought maybe I was slouching or something, but I'm not."

Grissom considered the situation a moment. "People are weird," he concluded. "Especially the ones who work here."

"With the exception of us, of course," Sara added with a grin.

"Of course."

"And it's not just the weird looks I'm getting from people," Sara continued with her ranting. "Everyone's treating me like some breakable object."

"How so?" Grissom was perplexed.

"Well... for example: today Nick insisted on holding open every door I went through. Even when his hands were full and mine were empty, he'd run ahead of me and open the door."

"He was probably just being a gentleman," Grissom defended Nick.

Sara stared at him. "Griss? Nicky has never done that to me before. He knows better. Or at least, he used to know better."

"Well, what about Warrick?" Grissom questioned. "Surely he didn't try to help you too."

Sara smirked. "Of course he did. He pulled a chair out for me in the break room. And then he pushed it in when I sat down!"

Grissom snickered at Sara. "The nerve of him," he commented sarcastically.

"I know it! It's like all the guys here have been struck by some disease that makes them act like gentlemen. First, Nick. Then Warrick. Then Greg, and Bobby, and Archie, Doc Robbins, David Phillips AND David Hodges," she counted off each person on her fingers.

Grissom wrapped comforting arms around Sara and stole a kiss. "Want me to tell them to knock it off?"

Sara shook her head. "No, if you do that, they'll start thinking I'm a mental case. And then they'll REALLY be patronizing me. I guess the only thing to do is ignore them."

* * *

"I wish you'd let me carry that, Sara," Nick began in a lecturing tone.

"I can handle my own field kit, Nick."

Unwilling to provoke the wrath of Sara, Nick held his tongue and continued his worrying silently.

* * *

"Here, let me take that from you," Catherine insisted, grabbing the box of evidence before Sara could protest.

"Catherine, that box is almost as big as you!" Sara exclaimed. "Now give it back before you drop it."

"Nope, I got it," Catherine stubbornly said, keeping the box out of Sara's grasp.

* * *

"Catherine, too?" Grissom exclaimed in disbelief, looking up from his microscope. "Maybe someone spiked the coffee with something and they all ingested it."

"I don't know. Didn't we drink the coffee too?" Sara sighed. "I swear, Grissom, if one more person treats me like a fragile piece of glass, I'm gonna scream."

"Does that include me?" Grissom asked, slightly alarmed.

Sara gave her bugman a smile. "No, Griss. That doesn't include you. You haven't been trying to baby me like everyone else has."

"Maybe I should ask around," Grissom decided. "Maybe someone started a rumor about something."

Sara frowned. "People better not be gossiping about me."

"Well, in any case, I'll ask around."

* * *

"It's a file folder, Warrick," Sara said in irritation. "Not a ton of bricks. I don't need you to carry it for me."

"It's a thick file," Warrick argued.

"Chill out! I'm not going to lose anything from it, if that's what's worrying you."

"It's not the file I'm worried about," Warrick answered without thinking.

Sara stopped to look at him. "Then what ARE you worried about?"

Warrick sighed. "Look, I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

* * *

Catherine heard the scream echo through the halls. She ran toward the general direction of the noise and skidded to a stop in the break room doorway.

Warrick was backed into a corner with no way out. "We're just trying to protect you, Sara!" he weakly defended himself.

"Protect me?" Sara hollered. "Protect me from what?!"

Catherine darted into the room. "Don't kill him, Sara! It's not his fault!"

Sara abruptly quit advancing on Warrick, and turned on Catherine. "Would you please tell me what exactly is going on? Nobody will let me do anything for myself! I can't pick up a pencil without someone harassing me about it! Why are you all patronizing me?!"

"We didn't want you to lift something too heavy and hurt the baby!" Catherine blurted out.

"Baby?" Sara echoed in confusion. "What baby?"

Warrick gaped at her. "YOUR baby, Sara."

Sara gave him a very strange look. "MY baby? I don't have a baby, Warrick," she said slowly, as if explaining it to a child.

This time, Catherine gaped at her. "Well, I realize that some people don't consider it a baby until it's actually born, but I never thought you would be one of them."

Sara couldn't believe it. Trained investigators, and they were this moronic. "Guys. Listen to me. There is no baby. I am not pregnant!"

"Oh god! She's in denial!" Catherine turned pathetic eyes to Warrick, who patted her shoulder.

"Which one of us should tell her that stress like this isn't good for the baby either?" he asked Catherine.

"I don't believe you guys!" Sara screamed. "Where on earth did you get the idea that I was pregnant?"

Catherine and Warrick exchanged worried glances. Should they rat out Nick?

"I think I found the culprit."

At the sound of Grissom's voice, Sara spun around to face the doorway.

There stood a very amused Grissom, and a very guilty Nick.

"You!" Sara stormed, pointing a finger at Nick. "What did you do, Nicky? And you better tell me the truth!"

Wide-eyed with fright, Nick tried to duck out of the room.

Grissom's hand clamped down on his shoulder and pushed him towards the very irate Sara. "Tell her, Nick," he said with a smirk. "Tell Sara what you told me."

Nick dashed away from Sara and Grissom, and cowered behind Catherine and Warrick. "I might have accidentally started a little rumor," he admitted fearfully.

"How?" Sara demanded through clenched teeth.

Nick cleared his throat nervously. "Um, well... a week or two ago, I thought I heard Grissom tell you not to lift things because it wasn't good for the baby."

Sara furrowed her eyebrow. "Grissom never told me anything of the sort."

Grissom explained it. "He apparently overheard me talking to Emily on the phone and assumed I was talking to you."

Comprehension settled into Sara's brain. She squeezed her eyes shut and abruptly turned her back on them all, silent as a mouse.

Grissom gave a worried look to Sara's shaking shoulders. Was she crying? "Sara? Honey? Are you okay?"

"What have we done?" Nick whispered painfully.

"WE?" Catherine retorted. "You're the one who started the rumor!"

Sara slowly turned around to face them. Her shoulders were still shaking and there were tears in her eyes, but only because she had been silently laughing at them all.

She took in the expressions on the faces of her colleagues, and nearly collapsed with laughter.

Warrick was confused. "But why did Grissom get mad when you picked up that big box of swabs to stock up your field kit?"

Sara calmed her laughing as best as she could. "That was because I pulled a muscle in my back the day before. When I reached for the box, I simply stretched the muscle too far again. It doesn't even hurt now."

Grissom was glad to hear that his Sara wasn't in pain anymore. "The phone call that Nick overheard was me talking to my cousin Emily. She is pregnant, and was venting to me that her husband won't let her do anything around the house."

"She also complained about being patronized," Sara added. "Which is exactly how I felt these past two weeks with you guys, and everybody else in the whole building, trying to help me."

Nick, Catherine, and Warrick embarrassedly looked down at the floor. "Sorry," they mumbled together.

Grissom slipped an arm around Sara's shoulders and asked, "So what do you intend to do with these three gossips?"

Sara smiled widely. "I have the perfect chore for them."

* * *

"Honestly, I didn't think she'd let us live," Warrick commented to Nick and Catherine.

"Shut up, Brown," Nick pouted. "This is definitely worse than death."

"Ah, cheer up, Nicky," Catherine attempted to comfort him. "Just think, by the end of the week, we might actually be halfway through Sara's paperwork."

"Be glad she isn't making you do it all by yourself," Warrick put in. "Although I don't think it's fair that Archie and Greg aren't helping us. They spread the rumor too."

Catherine snickered, finishing up another page and grabbing a new stack to start on. "I think everyone in this building spread the rumor."

"Having fun?" Sara asked from the doorway.

The trio gave noncommittal grunts.

Sara grinned. "Well, I've got more for you." She entered the room and dropped a stack of files onto the table.

Nick groaned, covering his face with his hands.

Warrick pouted.

Catherine simply glared at Sara.

"Don't get me wrong," Sara said, walking back to the door. "I do appreciate that you guys care about me." She paused in the doorway. "Just don't ever try to coddle me again."

Catherine stuck her tongue out at Sara's back.

Nick shuffled through the newest stack of papers to see what Sara had brought. "Hey! This isn't fair!"

"What?"

"We have to do Grissom's paperwork too!"

* * *

~ A MONTH LATER ~

"For the last time, Jim! Sara is not pregnant!" Grissom fairly shouted into the phone.

"Ummmm... Grissom?" Sara appeared in the kitchen doorway and looked shyly into the blue eyes of her husband. "You may want to rethink that statement."

Grissom looked at the half smile on his wife's face. He dropped the phone receiver and stared at her, suddenly unable to breathe. "What..."

"You remember that wonderful massage you gave me a little over a month ago when I hurt my back? The massage that started in the living room and ended in the bedroom?" Sara gave him a pointed look, trying to convey her message without having to spell it out for him.

A look of comprehension spread across Grissom's face. Normally shy at the mention of intimate activities, he couldn't prevent the hopeful smile that crept upon his lips. "Sara? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Sara walked over to Grissom and wrapped her arms around his middle. "I'm saying... that I hope she gets your blue eyes."

Grissom's arms held her close as he stole a kiss. "And what if he has your brown eyes?"

"That could work, too," Sara answered with a grin.

"We're having a baby," Grissom murmured happily, squeezing Sara in his embrace.

Suddenly, the realization struck him full force. "Oh my god," he gasped in a near panic. "Sara, we're having a baby!"

- The End -